Reviewing, we recognize that Scripture gives authority to parents and that children should obey their parents unless asked to do something contrary to the Word of God. The question we consider today is how long a parent maintains authority over a child.
The Bible doesn’t name a specific age when a child graduates into adulthood. General principles, however, dictate when one person has authority over another. For instance, unless a government asks you to disobey God, you should obey governmental authority; but you don’t have to obey the government of every country in the world, only the countries which you are visiting or of which you’re a citizen. If you visit a country with an evening curfew, you obey the curfew. If you really don’t want to, then you leave that country so that it no longer has authority over you. You obey your boss’s limit of one hour for lunch whether you like it or not; if you choose not to, you find a new job with a new boss. Most of us understand these principles as common sense. Try carrying them over to the parent-child relationship. If you’re living in your parents’ home rent-free, if they cover your health insurance and car insurance and/or help you pay your bills, you’re willingly continuing that parent-child relationship and placing yourself under their authority. If you’re legally old enough to live on your own and either don’t want to be under their authority or feel that following your parents’ wishes hinders your ability to obey Christ, take responsibility for your bills and living expenses and remove yourself from their authority.
Sometimes moving out is difficult. One guideline Scripture emphasizes which relates to this is the principle of honoring God above all others. Consider Christ’s words in Matthew 10:35-37: “’For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.’” Christ isn’t encouraging family arguments; he’s simply clarifying that despite a family member’s opposition, you must obey Christ. In Luke 18:29-30, Christ gives a beautiful reassurance to those who put him first: “’Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life.’” Whatever family relationships we sacrifice for the cause of Christ will be rewarded with better relationships. This principle is illustrated in Matthew 12 when Christ’s physical mother and brothers send a messenger to tell him they want to talk to him. His response to the messenger is, “’Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother’”(Matthew 12:48-50).
Again stressing the importance of complete loyalty to the Savior, in Luke 14, Christ says, “’If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple’”(v. 26). He’s not promoting hatred; he’s picturing for us how great our love for him should be in comparison to our love for our family if we truly want to be his disciple. Love for family is good and important, and in some situations God may want a young adult to stay close to his parents. God may, however, want you to take a stand for him which your family won’t understand; or he may ask you to serve him in a ministry thousands of miles away from your parents and siblings. Is your love for him strong enough to create the resolve to do his will? He’s worth it, friend.
Reflection 2 in a series of 3