Throughout life, you will interact with people who behave, in your estimation at the moment, in an unintelligent manner. As you’re walking down the hall or sitting in a meeting or standing in a line or playing on a team, your frustration level will rise and a less-than-kind word may run through your mind, perhaps even cross your tongue. Is anger at inconveniences and unpleasant people sometimes justified?
Righteous anger is a legitimate term, but we’ll discuss that another time. Today, consider that anger which is a reaction to people or difficulties affecting your daily routine: the teammate who drops the ball, the person who takes too long while you’re waiting, a new rule at work or in school, a physical struggle you’re having, a family member’s forgetfulness, your roommate’s words, the driver who doesn’t keep a steady speed. You may feel that your anger is merited or natural or unpreventable.
Proverbs 14:29 reads, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” A hasty temper promotes foolishness. Proverbs 19:11 reads, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” “Great understanding” can help you to have “good sense” and avoid being a fool.
Remembering that there’s more going on in other people’s lives than you know may help when you feel your frustration level rising. Some people would no longer annoy you if you knew what they were going through. Proverbs 18:13 reads, “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”
Remembering that God is sovereign will also help your mindset. You may view a situation as an unexpected aggravation, but nothing takes God by surprise. Proverbs 3:5 reminds, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.”
Recognizing that self-centeredness is often the generator of anger can also help perspective. For many of us, our primary concern is little-old-me, and it shouldn’t be. Consider the wealth of encouragement in the Word of God to love others. 1 Corinthians 13 emphasizes the importance of love and the emptiness of our seemingly good actions when we do not love others. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 clarifies what love looks like: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.”
Controlling the temper may not be easy for some of us but blaming our personality doesn’t let us off the hook. The fact that we’re all sinners and have tendencies to behave sinfully does not justify sinful behavior; we don’t somehow receive a free pass because, “That’s just the way I am.” If this is an area you know you struggle with, help yourself develop the understanding and good sense encouraged in Proverbs by studying what God’s Word has to say about anger. Read passages encouraging us to love others. Meditate on God’s perspective. Memorize some helpful Scripture so that you can quote it to yourself when you feel short-fused. Choose to obey God’s Word and ask him to help you do what you can’t accomplish on your own.
Proverbs 16:32 reads, “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” It’s a very worthy goal.